Thursday, October 6, 2011

All Grown Up


My little girl just asked me to pack up all her toys.........and I am left thinking "where did this come from?"
Has she grown up so much that she does not need them anymore?

She is only eight and a half years old.

I suppose my constantly telling her to stop being babyish was to eventually have some kind of effect, though my intention had been to get her to be a little more well behaved, not discard her childhood altogether.
Nevertheless, after applauding her mature decision I did as she asked. I brought out cardboard boxes to put all her toys in but when it came to actually doing it, I could not do it.(Now who is being immature?)

I know I am being silly but to me those toys are a symbol of her childhood and it can’t be over yet: not at eight and half. I Know she is going to outgrow her playthings eventually, if not now then in a couple of years. It is part of life and there is no reason to feel depressed about it.
And yet I am depressed.
I have two other kids in their teens who have definitely left their childhood behind. I did not feel half as depressed at their time as I do now. Perhaps because in both their cases I still had a younger child following behind to focus all my attention on.

This time I know it’s all going to be over for good. All those hugs, kisses and cuddles are going to be steadily reduced till they disappear altogether. One night before going to bed I will suddenly realize that I have not had a hug, kiss or cuddle all day long. My child has not even once run up to me crying or upset because she no longer believes that I am the only one in the world who can solve all her problems.
My dethronement from the world’s most important person status will be permanent this time.
So what am I going to do?
Simple
I am going to use all my persuasive powers and talk her out of putting away her stuff for now.
I suppose I am behaving like an ostrich, avoiding reality by dunking my head in the sand. But I can’t help it. I can't deal with this reality right now, may be I will able to do in another couple of years (or maybe in another 18 or 20 years) but not now.
Most definitely not now.

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